DigitalPR With Celestine Achi: Is The Internet Putting Up A Barrier Between Couples and Friends, Even In The Most Intimate Moments?.. Consider a Digital Detox

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Is The Internet Putting Up A Barrier Between Couples and Friends, Even In The Most Intimate Moments?.. Consider a Digital Detox

Sunday, January 24, 2016

"I guess our parents stayed together simply because they didn't have 1000 other people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage or relationship got hard. Nowadays when our relationship hits the rocks we can just log in and get high off this false sense of security and appreciation. We value our worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colourful words that have no depth. Meanwhile, the person who loves you when there is no filter on your face becomes an option and the rest of the world who just sees your representative becomes priority. Dont loose what is real chasing behind what only appears to be." - Tyrese Gibson

In today’s society, people live for their electronic devices and social media platforms. Most people can’t go more than a few hours without picking up their smartphone and checking up on their Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. It’s a crazy sort of addiction when we put it into perspective, and it’s slowly becoming problematic when trying to foster relationships with other people. It’s becoming a lot harder to keep a relationship going and keep ourselves content with what we have.

Our obsession with social media and our smartphones has not only changed the way we spend time, but the way we feel, think and communicate with our partners or loved ones.

Sure, social media makes connecting with new and old friends around the world easier than ever -- but it also makes it easier to disconnect from the person that matters most: your spouse. 

Even with the most devoted couples, it seems that once-common conversations at home and even in bed have been replaced with endless scrolling through social media apps or funny image-based sites – individually.

Is the internet putting up a barrier between people, even in the most intimate moments?

We compulsively carry our smartphones with us wherever we go. The classroom, the bathroom, the bedroom, the outdoors — our phone is always in hand as if it were some magic self-defense tool capable of protecting us from all that is evil in the world.

It all happened so fast. We didn’t have the time to set any boundaries for smartphone usage, and now we find ourselves unable to save our relationships and form meaningful interactions with those dear to us.

Smartphones are very useful in many circumstances. However, although not ruining your relationships per se, they can harm it in devious ways.

Below are the different ways Facebook and smartphones drives a wedge between couples -- and how to avoid the issues in your own relationship:

- Loss of Communication - Smartphones can be the culprit of communication breakdown among couples. Intimacy is hard to achieve or maintain when your phone keeps beeping with alerts, notifications and email reminders. A constant, merciless distraction, our smartphones have come to replace deep-felt, long conversations in view of non-urgent, shallow tasks; retweeting a fun tweet, updating your Facebook status for the 136th time.

- Lack of Mindfulness and Care - Couples check Facebook instead of checking in on each other. One of the issues I see come up most often is when one partner feels neglected because the other partner is on their phone checking out Facebook whenever they’re together. A smartphone is a modern day distraction that is so common, it’s hardly noticed any more. It accompanies us wherever we go, demanding our attention multiple times a day. A phone call, a Facebook notification etc. 

- Destabilization of Relationships - To sustain a relationship it needs to be based on constant give and take, where we think about someone else at least as much as we think about ourselves. Smartphones upset this balance. They can turn us into selfish, non-empathetic individuals who are only worried how many likes their Instagram photo received, or how many times their meme got re-pinned. We place too much emphasis on our digital lives, and we lose sight of the urgency and beauty of the everyday. This leads to a vicious circle, where the more we interact with the digital world, the more we become indifferent to the real world and people;

- Watching other couples' PDA on Facebook makes some feel inadequate about their own relationships. 

- Oversharing on Facebook can cause major arguments. 

- Family and friends who continue to interact with exes can drive a wedge between couples. While friend requests from old flames can lead to affairs. 

- We become irrevocably immersed in our digital lives, prioritizing the virtual world over anything else. Is it really that important to Instagram your dinner, rather than actually savoring it and sharing your impressions – with the person next to you.

Smartphones get in the way of our relationships, making it impossible for us to wholeheartedly devote our attention to the present moment. As a result, we lose many moments of wonder that are unique and never to be lived again.

Inevitably, excessive smartphone use drives us away from each other, and we only choose to communicate impersonally and for superficial matters. Somehow, bonding and intimacy no longer appeal to us, making it impossible for us to build any new, sincere relationships.


Can you dare do a ‘digital detox? 
How difficult will it be to abstain from all social media and tech for a week?

How exactly will you feel when you’re on your phone thousands of times a day and then decide to go to zero usage for a while? Can you try imagine the experience?

1 comment

  1. I totally agree,our gadgets sometimes create communication gap that our data plan cannot fill.couples should spend more time in each others company. When there is a breach in communication,abnormalities set in.

    ReplyDelete

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